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To Cook a Mockingbird
It’s dead. Now what? Dozens of delicious suggestions.

——--William Levitt Jr., Red Hook


The Public Sharer
Conrad’s nameless captain and the hitherto mysterious Leggatt announce their nuptials in the New York Times “Vows”column.

--Kelly Spencer, New Paltz

The Tao Te Ka-Ching!
Now that you’re like all serene an’ shit, let’s make some money! Lao-tsu’s guide to personal investments.

--John Berryhill, Red Hook


A Tale of One City
It was the best of times, it was the best of times.

--David Smilow, Saugerties

Queen Lear

Being the brief tale of Regan and Goneril’s mom, who died giving birth to their little sis.

--Kelly Spencer, New Paltz


Roget’s Tyrannosaurus
In use for innumerable eons, epochs, ages, and millennia before the more portable edition.

--Vladimir Mikolovich, East Jewett

Jonathan Livingston Hatchling

Chick lit.

--Cora Suleen Sprunt, Stone Ridge

Clan of the Precambrian Protozoa

A colony of amoebae bands together to evolve into a multicellular organism.

--Laura Covello, Ulster Park


The Catcher in the Focaccia
Holden Caulfield is a phony boulanger at a crumby pâtisserie.

--Aram Macrosian, Shady

The Metamorphosyphilis

Gregor Samsa awakes one morning to find
he’s been changed into a giant cock...
--Dakota Lane, Phoenicia


Computer fever strikes Trinity College.
--Amlin Gray, New York City

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