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For December 2012

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I would suggest you take a less somber and more celebratory approach to life, to sex, and to work. Remember—you're not in this alone. That would be your worst fear, and, thankfully, it's not vaguely possible. Yet something equally daunting is. In order to work with, bond with and grow with others, you must be willing to do these things with yourself. At first, deep self-embrace can feel like reaching for someone's hand in the darkness. Yet imagine this hand in the darkness is grasping for you, though you cannot see where it is, or be sure that it's there. It's far easier to reach for someone else, but less meaningful until you've embraced your fear, not of being alone, but that you might not show up for yourself. The nice thing is that unlike in an interpersonal relationship, you get to decide what you're going to do; you have all the influence and you make all of the decisions. When you get to the place where you're entirely certain that you're going to meet yourself, and know that you will never abandon yourself, that gives you a lot more freedom in everything you do, particularly in your relationships with others. The world has this one backward, as the usual logic runs, "I will show up for myself when someone shows up for me." By now you've seen the futility of this—and you've tasted the essence of nourishing yourself, which is your prerogative every moment of this life and beyond.

Speaking of...

  • January 20-February 19


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