If you're experiencing turbulence in your environment, or if you're feeling insecure, strive to make peace with yourself. To the extent that we humans create our reality, much depends on how safe we feel within our own mind and body. Part of what leads to your particular form of turbulence is that your imagination is confined. It often seems you can make the most elaborate and beautiful life you want, as long as it's a shoebox-sized diorama. You want and need more space and freedom than this, and you owe it to yourself to reach for it. The persistent question seems to be: What would people think if they knew what a wild thing you are? Yet why do you care? There's a reason, which functions as an excuse. It's easier to judge yourself if you let other people do it for you. Not judging yourself would mean granting yourself permission to explore, to expand your horizons and to experiment with your feelings, your ideas, and your body. This would clearly threaten an identity you've cultivated around being small. You cannot have both, though I would ask why you would ever want to shrink yourself down. Initially this began as the desire to please other people without actually succeeding. You and only you can call a stop to this cycle, which means claiming your existence as your own.