i am not static, but i am solid
and it's strange to be both.
i'm just
flowing through the current
and occasionally someone else slams right into me
and sometimes it's not but
sometimes it's exactly where they're supposed to be
and i used to think that i could control the current
but that's absurd. i'm a girl, not a river
not a river with the wind whirling above it and the sediments
congealing on the floor and the plates shifting beneath it
and the magma crackling and the core burning
i am a girl
with two feet and sometimes my face on the ground
i am a girl who won't eat anything that was once
a living breathing thing like me
because i am a part of the river, or at least i seem to be
and all i ever wanna do is feel clean and pure and clear
but it's far more important to just Be Here
once i was told that i was solid, like a black lab in the snow
when someone was reminding me that i was not supposed to go
(now i can't even believe that i ever wanted to leave)
because right now i'm a rock in the river, settled deep into the sand
and i'm strong and i am rooted and a friend can hold my hand
and i listen and i listen and sometimes i understand
but all you need is one stubborn trout to push that rock right back out
i think that the real goal is to be rooted without roots
the current whirls and twirls you
but that does not refute
anything that's happened or anywhere you'll go
the river just reminds you
how little you know
—Alexa Salvato
