Poem: Montréal 1

Montréal 1

"i can't make you love me if you don't"
the last time at choir practice years ago now
this song bashing me up like a hammer or worse
why do i only write poetry when i've broken
everything suddenly a segment
no glue no comforts, no
punctuation as a sad raft
bonnie raitt, i had no idea
you are housing such a hell
i want to yell at you for this
and also shake your hand
painted anthem for the sucked dry
end of the rope
lovesick and empty masses
the most tragic song i've ever sung
badly as an alto in a choir
i wasn't alone i was full, okay
i have to drive 5 hours north to feel it
i'm a girl who goes to a planetarium once
and vows to read all the books on black holes
i lose focus the next morning
wake up thinking
leave black holes alone they don't concern you
beating myself up for wanting to know more
about something that doesn't care about me
and that's how it's been and that's what it is
when you ask me how i'm doing
i want to say "good"