The preposterous yet undeniably hilarious “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)” will take the stage at the Beacon Theatre January 10 to 19. With only three actors, the (necessarily) fast-paced romp touches on each of Shakespeare’s 37 plays in just 97 minutes, including the world record for the shortest-ever performance of Hamlet—merely 43 seconds—and then backwards in 42 seconds. As one of the world’s most frequently produced plays, the quirky comedy includes audience participation and speaks to the Shakespeare lover and hater (I mean, who cares about “King John”?) in all of us. (845) 226-8099.