Quarter to Three
by Sparrow

In Honor of Leo Esaki
art by Joseph D'Angelo

Window
cloud of
gray

larger than two windows
1/21 7:26

Bus Journal
12/7: The blond man across from me—I thought he wore an earring, then I saw the sun was glowing on his ear.

12/9: We pass Mt. Tryon, solitary as a basketball.

Overheard Phrase
“Is he the author of the penis?”

Choice
I will have a
small, red blun.

Note: A blun is a round Scottish pastry made with lamb, sometimes flavored with beets

Small Journal
12/15: Mouse turds like swollen caraway seeds on our sponge, in the morning.

2/1: The sky resembles a great hand, waving.

2/12 (At the Kingston Bus Station):A man leaves the bathroom, counting his money.
Did he grow rich in the bathroom?

An Inquiry
We have all heard of the “Judeo-Christian tradition.” Why have we never heard of the “Judeo-Christo-Muslim tradition”? Or the “Judeo-Christo-Muslo-Bahai tradition”?

No Paper Clip (2/11/01)
I am the sort of person who picks up a paper clip when he sees one on the ground. I bring the clip home, and place it in the top drawer of my desk. Because I am a writer, I often need paper clips—yet I hate to buy them. (How pleasurable to think a paper clip will arise when I need one!)
But it has been five weeks since I found a paper clip.
This may be the longest interim between paper clips in my life.

Funny Thunder
Far off, I hear
funny thunder:

“Boom!” “Kaboingy!”
“Zip-zip-zishy!” “Boom!”

Palindromania
The palindrome revolution continues! (A palindrome, you recall, is a word, sentence, or New York Times article which reads the same forwards and back.) Ann Byer approached my wife at Sweet Sue’s (in Phoenicia) and wrote down on a small paper:

Live war as a raw evil.

I myself composed:
Pupils slip up.
and
Bonsoir, Rio snob!

Meanwhile, my friend Roger e-mailed me:

Hi Sparrow,
If you’re still working on palindromes, we have this one to pass along to you, fresh from the unauguration:
Dubya won—no way, bud!
Ylly,
Roger (or should I say Rogor?)

Which brings up the question: Should all palindromes-lovers have secret reversible names?
(I suppose mine would be “Sparaps”.)

W
Which leads us to our next plan. Quarter to Three, (this column), is constantly launching new social movements. This month’s is to revise the pronunciation of the letter “W”. Currently we say “double-U”—but where are the “U”s? Clearly, nature intended us to pronounce this “double-V.”
Thus, our president’s nickname would become “Dubavee”.

1001 Ways to Lose at Chess, Continued
Here are more excerpts from my forthcoming book, detailing every method of losing a chess game:

9. Drop six pieces inside your shirt.
10. Allow your cat to make all your moves.
11. Drop your rooks in a soup.
12. Dump a half-ton of sand on the board.
13. Pick up a knight, and never put it down.
14. After making eight moves, go outside and climb a lamppost.
15. Never learn to play chess.
16. Instead of moving, drill holes in your opponent’s pieces.

Heard in a Dream
“... we’re building an ocean.”

[Note: Leo Esaki (b. 1925) is the physicist who received the 1973 Nobel Prize for advances in theory of solid-state electronics. I found his name by opening the American Heritage Dictionary at random.]