Backbone > Quarter to Three

Peace Hair Hat
By Sparrow . Illustration by Mike Dubisch

Trust Farms
Trust farms have no fences or gates—anyone may enter and take food. In a corner of the field is a donation box. Trust farms exist in Norway, Sweden, Japan, and Minnesota.

Alternative Crackers
I don’t eat
Ritz or Saltines;
I eat
alternative crackers.

Diary Report
Two months ago in this column, I somewhat despairingly asked: “Does anyone write in a diary anymore? Does everyone now ‘keep a journal?’” Guess what? Carla Rozman, the art director of Chronogram, keeps a diary! But let her explain:

Dearest Songbird Sparrow,
I have always called what I’ve written a “diary”. I think “journal” is a new word. It was introduced to me in high school, a teacher telling me, “Keep a journal to be graded at the end of the year.” A journal is impersonal. I’d never hand in my diary at the end of the year!

Since I was 8 years old, I have kept a log-of-my-life: questions, complaints, challenges, boys!!!, friends, mishaps, blunders, embarrassments, absurdities, anger, etc...all was recorded, either feverishly or fluently, depending on my mood....

My first experience with a diary was in second grade. (Ms. Borges had us write every afternoon to calm us down, I’d guess.) I still have it!

I often lied in it, as we could read it to the class if we chose. Of course I chose to, and I’d read, “Yesterday I climbed the Statue of Liberty!” My friend would yell out, “That’s a lie!!!” I would ignore her and put on a proud face.

A diary, which I began on my own in fifth grade, was secret! Private! For “Carla’s eyes only.” I wrote who I was in love with and who I was mad at, mostly. Feelings!

There are no locks on my diaries. They are in plain sight. My current one is safely by my bed in a basket.

My friend kept a loose hair on hers, so she’d know if it was touched at the end of the day—if the hair was gone. Apparently she had no wind in her town.

Is this sufficient?

Ever so dedicatedly,
Carla S. Rozman

Opinion
Who needs a
Promised Land
without elves?

“Anti-Thieves”
A group of young millionaires broke into people’s houses to leave them money, in the late sixties. Andrew Wyck, Philip Barkman, and Mark Sepper met at Princeton in April 1968. After a long conversation one night, they decided to become “anti-thieves”. They began sneaking into houses in the ghettos of Camden and Trenton, New Jersey and depositing piles of currency. The anti-thieves continued until 1970, giving away a total of $32,000.

“We were good burglars; we were never caught,” Wyck remembers. “It was one of the most valuable projects of my life.” Wyck became a lifetime philanthropist. The other two men are investment bankers.

Moroccan Roll
Dear Sparrow,
Recently I went to a coffee shop in New Paltz. I noticed a “Moroccan roll” on the menu, which sounded interesting. So I asked for it, but the clerk misunderstood me, thinking I requested “more rock’n’roll.” So he turned up the music. (He was playing a CD by The Cars.)

“No, I want a Moroccan roll,” I explained, but again he misheard me, turning the music even louder.
Finally I ordered a coffee and sat in the corner.

Sadly,
C. Connert

Interview with a Hair Artist
I spoke with the artist Alice Bernin.

Sparrow: You make hats out of hair?

Alice: Yes. I weave human hair into hats.
Sparrow: Why do you make hats, and not shirts,
for example?

Alice: It is amusing to wear hair atop hair.

Sparrow: What kind of hats?

Alice: I began with berets, but they’re growing larger.
Some droop.

Sparrow: Where do you get the hair?

Alice: Friends get haircuts, and send me the
clippings in an envelope.

Sparrow: Is it mostly women’s hair?

Alice: This is a problem. Women have more hair,
but I also need men’s hair. A hat looks best with a
balance of male and female hair.

Sparrow: Isn’t hair coarse in texture?

Alice: This is a misconception, derived from hair shirts—
which are actually made from horsehair.
Often my hats are lustrous and soft.

Sparrow: Are you making a statement?

Alice: Some of my hats combine follicles from 50 people.
Rich and impoverished, people of many ethnicities—
their hair weaves together, becoming pretty and useful.
I want to make a hat from Israeli and Palestinian donors—
a Peace Hair Hat.