Marco, The longest limo in the world has its own helicopter pad.  To walk from one end of this limo to the other takes four minutes.  I learned this from the students in Bainbridge High School, where I substitute teach.  "The hot dogs bounce," one girl said, of the school food.  "God, who is not witty, nevertheless created wit."
- French Proverb
Love,
Sparrow

Sans porte
Sans une porte
une maison est à tout le monde.

Translation:
Doorless
A doorless house
belongs to everyone.

Plural Of "Plural"
The plural of "plural"
is "plurals."

Karaoke Magazine
Karaoke, of course, is the art of singing famous songs to a background track, while reading the lyrics.  I am launching a new magazine that is the literary equivalent of karaoke.  People will write out famous poems in their own handwriting, occasionally forgetting or adding a word.  Please send submissions to: Karaoke Magazine c/o Chronogram, Post Office Box 459, New Paltz, NY, 12561, or e-mail info@chronogram.com.

Dean,
Thank you for the bumper sticker which read:
MY OTHER CAR IS GAY.
I am planning to write one saying:
MY OTHER CYCLE IS BI.
Eventually on Jupiter,
Sparrow

Miss Math America
This new competition asks women in bathing suits to solve quadratic equations and find the area of a rhombus.  The most beautiful and mathematical wins.
The contest will be held in Boston in late September.

Quote
"Some of the babies I kiss nauseate me."
- Pres.  Taft (in his diary)

A Letter
Dear Sparrow,
Why has no one invented a solar-powered chainsaw?
Curiously,
A J, Red Hook

Potato Clowns
In the 19th century, every American child had seen a potato clown.  These entertainers traveled constantly, juggling potatoes, making potato dolls, dancing on piles of the tubers.  Many wore potato noses, and spoke "potato talk" (a dialect based on the word "potato" - for example "Yo po-toe-tap to-po-pat!").

Dream (12/2/02)
"This is a French-English-German dictionary," a young woman tells me.  "Some of the entries are in French, some in English, and some in German."
"Of what use is that?"  I ask.
"What use has a blue robe?"

A Second Letter
Sparrow:
Re: Riddles
Lewis Carroll somewhere in Alice gives a riddle which supposedly no one has ever answered.  "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"  I however know the answer (& the person who answered it).  Would you like to try?  Your readers?  If you give up I'll tell you - but not on the back of a postcard!
Peace,
PL Wilson

Palindrome Man Reemerges
Palindrome Man, you may remember, is a heroic crusader who solves all quandaries with a palindrome.  [A palindrome is a phrase, word, or booklist that reads the same backwards and forwards.] Angeline, a friend of Palindrome Man, was showing him her newly redecorated bathroom.  "Everything is perfect," she explained, "though I feel one design element is missing.  Do you have any suggestions?"
"Puce cup," remarked Palindrome Man.

Contest Results
Good news!  There are two winners of the Groundhog Chopin Contest, in which willing correspondents were asked to invent new types of relatives:

An ex-in-law is a "walinx"
(Ann Nihal)
bartender-in-law
(Paul McMahon)