Now that they've found each other, it could be argued, a soon-to-be-married couple has everything. But aside from that wondrous blessing, there remains the desire—and the cultural expectation—that those who wish the happy couple well will commemorate the occasion of their commitment with some tangible token.

Some couples simplify this process by signing up with a registry, allowing some fortunate vendor to do the organizing. But suppose your friends aren't like that, or you find that the very idea makes you feel as though your self-expression is being cramped?

Not to worry. Revered etiquette guru Emily Post advises that registries are to be viewed as suggestion, not prescriptions. "A registry is for your convenience and you are not limited to what is on the list," she advises.

There is a semi-unwritten rule about price that mandates a gift equal in value to the cost of the guest's reception meal, which some find comforting and others crass. Post is not a fan of this dictum, recommending instead that each guest "let your affection for the bride and groom and your budget be your guide" in selecting a gift.

Post also recommends sending gifts either before or immediately following the wedding rather than bringing them, although the custom of a "gift table" has taken hold in some areas.

There, then, is the "how" of wedding gifting, basically a matter of following one's tastes and one's heart, as well as the dictates of one's budget. More of a brain-teaser is the "what." A wedding gift, even more than a Christmas or birthday present, is imbued with a sense of ceremonial importance. It ought to be something the couple can enjoy, but the gift should also evoke a fond spirit of remembrance of The Big Day for years to come—a tall order for any material object.

You can, of course, sidestep the whole issue and simply write a check. Just about everyone getting married could use some money, and in some cultures cash is the gift of choice. (Remember all those envelopes in the opening scene of The Godfather?) In the case of money, the rule of thumb about the cost of the reception plate makes a certain amount of sense.

For couples who have plenty of everything, a charitable donation to a cause they support might make more sense. It means one less detail for the happy couple to have to descend from their newlywed cloud and concern themselves with, and you, the thoughtful friend, get to save them a whale or a redwood or perhaps feed some hungry folks on their behalf. Or how about a donation to a literacy organization for bookish folks, or to the local high school athletic organization for your favorite former varsity athletes?

Knowing the couple's tastes and/or needs presents interesting possibilities. Have they been dreaming of remodeling their home? Maybe a group of friends or family could collectively present them with a gift certificate for their favorite home-improvement store. If you know they've been hankering for a hot tub or some other major goodie, organizing a group effort could be a way to provide a present in the dream-come-true realm, which seems fitting for an occasion of this magnitude.

Is the couple artistic? A gift certificate for supplies might be welcome. Music lovers might appreciate season passes to the Philharmonic or the opera, or perhaps a boxed set of the collected works of Ozzy Osborne is more the thing—you know your friends. If they have a sport or hobby in common, the possibilities are many and obvious.

Are they blending a family? If so, they'll have a need for fun. Check out family venues. Campgrounds, parks, and resorts sometimes offer family season passes that can provide many hours of good times, which will make the newlyweds think of you fondly and often. Or, perhaps a handsome book of certificates entitling them to one night a month of free babysitting for a year would be most welcome. In most cases, the happy couple will take off immediately or soon after the wedding for a honeymoon to recover from all of that getting-hitched agita. But how about the agita of everyday life that will rear its ugly head once again soon enough? Some couples might appreciate gift certificates for massage or other spa services. (Come to think of it, such a gift might make the mediator less of an essential.) A dinner for two at some divine local eatery is another thought that packs some stress relief potential.

If you're into giving keepsakes, the Hudson Valley is, of course, full of merchants and artisans who will be happy to help. Artwork would be a lovely idea, assuming you know your friends' tastes well enough to realize that one person's masterpiece can be another's monstrosity.

Or you might try shopping online. A search for wedding gifts turns up a wide variety of sites that are eager to help in your quest, offering traditional goodies like engraved picture frames and commemorative sterling silver plates by the boatloads. Just about everything can, of course, be monogrammed—one particular outfit called the Personalization Mall (www.personalizationmall.com) has ideas for engraving just about anything.

Outfits such as Things Remembered and Warm Sentiments offer wide selections of frames in the shape of linked wedding rings, little sculptures of kissing couples, and plaques full of tender verse for the type of twosome who would prefer a very matrimonial sort of wedding gift. The wedding invitation can be engraved onto Sterling, or their names onto an elegant clock with a heart shaped pendulum. How about a picnic backpack for two? The Obsession Box Company offers "all the picnic essentials for a relaxing outdoor meal" in a compact backpack for just $46. It could, of course, make the ideal companion piece to a wine, cheese, or fruit-of-the-month subscription.

Some people thrive on oddity, but naming a star after someone is so last year. Consider giving an acre of Pacific Ocean floor. "You get a fully descriptive deed suitable for framing and information on the struggle to claim the ocean floor for the benefit of all humankind," says the product description for this original idea, billed as a "stimulating conversation piece and exciting family project." Hey, an acre of land for $19.98 isn't something you'll find everywhere.

Find that parcel of Pacific—and much more—at the intriguingly named Things You Never Knew Existed (www.thingsyouneverknew.com). TYNKE is also the home of the scrolling license plate frame (five different messages in LED display), the backward clock (now there's a gift!), and the Sea Monkey Ocean of Light. Or, keep it really straightforward. Who knows, perhaps your friends would be moved to happy tears by a gift certificate for an adult toy boutique or a year's worth of video rentals and a case of microwaveable popcorn.

Although cultures differ on questions like whether gifts should be sent in advance or brought to the reception, etiquette experts agree that if you're unable to attend, a gift is not mandatory. However, with so many fun ideas out there, why miss the chance to present people you like with something special to commemorate their special day? As dear old Emily Post assures us, your budget and their tastes are really the only rules you need to follow. The only other limit is your imagination.