I was speaking with a friend recently who offered up a litany of problems. He is about to be laid off from his job; he suffers from a host of chronic physical ailments, and to top it off, because of these and other unfortunate circumstances, he is utterly without self-esteem and confidence. He enumerated the reasons for his plight, many of which had to do with being misled and lied to by others, compounded by loathing for himself at having been duped. All of these together made him feel that it is impossible to get out of the pit he sees himself in.

My first response was to listen. I let him tell the complete story of his situation without interrupting, and through listening was able to see and feel his desperation. But it was clear to me that the "facts" he was focusing on were selective. I know him to be a powerful, capable, creative, and beautiful person, with many bright possibilities on his horizon, and so I suggested an exercise to try, if he wished. The exercise was to stop complaining.

It is not every day we are faced with situations that appear so dire, but we are all faced with problems, obstacles, people with whom we disagree. If we are graced to recognize that our reactions to situations are separate from the situations themselves, and that we alone are responsible for what we feel, then we can truly take responsibility for our reactions. This is the opportunity that life presents: to develop as human beings; to become agents of the truth.

For those who have heard the call, there is a long war to be waged. This war is longer, and more open-ended than Mr. Bush's absurd War on Terror. It is also actually meaningful. Ours is the War On Negativity. And it begins in ourselves, though once we have conquered it within the frontiers of our skin, we begin to make preemptive strikes against negativity wherever it threatens to take root.

First of all, we need to know our enemy. Our war is against all the ways in which we and others give attention to what is lacking, instead of what is. This takes many forms. Criticism, for instance, is almost always negative. By this I mean that criticism addresses what is missing from someone or something—what I believe should be, but isn't. Obviously criticism has a place in pointing to what is possible, but if we are honest we will see that it is rarely employed by us in this constructive manner. What else? Complaining, which is a more pathetic version of criticism.

And how about something subtler: gossip. How often is gossip simply indulgence in a perverse interest in the problems and embarrassments of others? Or skepticism. This word is often preceded by a qualifier—"healthy"—but too often it is an excuse to distance ourselves from others.

These are some of the outward expressions of negativity, and there are innumerable thoughts, feelings, and desires that give rise to them, but I enumerate them because the realm of expression is the part of us that is most available to our observation—certainly more available than thoughts, which even seasoned meditators confess difficulty observing.

So what are the alternatives to negativity?

It would be farcical to fall into the trap of countering negativity with negativity; criticizing criticism, for instance. So the first assault in our War on Negativity is to be openly attentive. Like a child who is doing something they know they shouldn't, an accepting, penetrating gaze will often correct the useless behavior. So too with gratuitous negativity; truly listening will often enable the expresser to hear himself and change his tone.

Our next line of attack is to be positive. For instance, what is the opposite of criticism? Praise. And it is always possible to find something to praise. What is the antidote to anger? Compassion, which literally means "to suffer with." What is the appropriate response to violence? Kindness.

Following our conversation, my friend wrote me an inspiring note, which I quote here with his permission. He said "I see that I have been talking about my fears, and by giving voice I have made them real. As I make the effort not to complain I have been able to observe the story I keep telling myself, which is partial and false. Now I can let it go and step into my life. I might yet be helpful not only to myself, but to others."

So let us go forth and wage our vigilant War Against Negativity. Let us look beyond the demons in ourselves and in others that would have us resort to an impoverished point of view; a point of view that focuses on lack when we wish for abundance; that focuses on fear when we hunger for love. Let us be our prosperous selves and share the wealth with the world.

—Jason Stern