In my youth I sought illumined teachers for guidance. I dreamed of finding the one who would rescue me from ignorance. Now, despite being more established in the world—I have a house, a business, a family—I still observe the signs of waking sleep. I notice my body fidgeting, my mind wandering, and my emotions mostly hovering between apathy and fear. What is different is that I no longer hope or expect to be rescued.

The perception that finding follows seeking is an example of the reverse consciousness that pervades the mindset of these dark times. The delusion is the root of the American Nightmare—the myth of fulfillment that an ordeal of desperate or methodical work will yield success and happiness. It cannot be so, for the seed of what will be is inevitably present in what is. If I am driven by a feeling that that what I have is not enough, I can never be fulfilled—for I am practicing and reinforcing this feeling of lack. The apparent object of fulfillment may be achieved, but it will be replaced with a new one, and the disposition of lack will remain constant up to the dying breath.

Instead of seeking in order to find is to find what we seek.

In the example at hand, my own, is the pursuit of wakefulness in all its signs: sense of body and grace of movement; presence of mind—perceptivity, sharpness of wit, and encompassing awareness; and an open heart in the highest sense—positive, empowering emotions that arise in response to and for others. I have come to see that these signs are already present. If I seek them in front of me, where they are already existent, I find them instantaneously. Seeking and finding are one event.

This is the significance of the Buddhist admonition that we are ourselves already Buddhas (the word literally means "awakened"). On this basis, though we practice, there is nothing to attain. Hinayana Buddhist teacher Ajahn Chah said "we practice to learn how to let go, not how to increase our holding on to things"—including enlightenment. In other words the idea of achieving, attaining, or possessing anything that is not already present is delusion. For most this is the bad news, because our hopes and desires are pinned to imaginary and idealistic notions of what isn't but could be or should become the case.

The good news is that everything exists in the present. If what I want is success, I can acknowledge a good bowel movement. Appreciating such a taken-for-granted example will inevitably increase my capacity for other forms of success. If my goal is to possess more money I can indulge the thrill of finding a penny on the pavement. Experiencing a seeming insignificant acquisition of wealth will produce a disposition of wealth that produces more of the same. If my goal, as in the case of the example at hand, is wakefulness, I can notice that the baby in the carriage near where I'm sitting is looking at me with utter and total openness beaming out a torrent of awareness; or that the man pouring sugar into his coffee is taking great care and attention in a seeming prosaic act; or that the person I am speaking with in a business meeting is really, truly listening.

I used to hope for a teacher to rescue me with the secret technique, the magic knowledge that would enable me to climb out of my low-level life. Now I recognize that everyone I encounter is demonstrating the wakefulness I wish for in my heart of hearts. Everyone, without exception, is the teacher I seek.

Thank you for being my teacher.

—Jason Stern