Men’s Wellness

Mind • Heart • Spirit

by Lorrie Klosterman and illustrations by Annie Internicola, June 30, 2009

Bookstores nowadays devote many shelves to health, often including a section highlighting women’s health. But a section on men’s health is a rarity, and sparsely populated: A bookstore I recently visited had one lonely volume, about the prostate. Surely there’s more to be said?

In this article—the first of two—I’ve asked a few of the Hudson Valley’s men to share some thoughts about men’s health issues from a holistic viewpoint, based on the work they do with men and their own experience. This piece touches on topics of mind, heart, and spirit, with humble apologies for leaving out (for want of publication space) diverse other facets of a man’s wellness. The second article, in the August issue, will address men’s physical health.

A MAN'S WORLD
One of my men friends occasionally confesses he simply has no idea what phrases like “finding one’s true self” and “looking inward” mean. He’s a successful professional, a husband and father, and a generous man. His life has been productive, financially rewarding, and generally satisfying. But more recently, in his elder years, an anxiety is building, and he’s become curious about a different kind of happiness. And while younger men increasingly are seeking self-awareness and personal growth, many in this society still agree that success in the work world, as my friend sought foremost, and providing for themselves and their families in monetary and material ways, is paramount.

“There is still an ethos today in men that part of being a man is taking care of one’s business,” says Chris Kadison, an MA in clinical psychology and MAC in private practice at the Woodstock Therapy Center. “We still tend to define ourselves in terms of what we do rather than who we are. A lot of that is our occupations.” Kadison points out that the current economic milieu, which has cost many men their jobs, savings, benefits, and/or expendable income, is exacerbating the anxiety men carry about being successful. “Even those of us who are still employed have more anxiety about keeping our jobs, and it reaches across the socioeconomic spectrum. There is a general tendency in the whole country toward hunkering down.”

David Basch, a professional certified coach and consultant based the Hudson Valley and in New York City, concurs. “It’s important to a man to feel productive, in the sense of having a purpose, and to feel self-sufficient and powerful. Women may have this too, but it’s especially so for men.” A man who has lost his job or financial security, or who can’t be sure he’ll be able to provide for his family as he wishes, has been wounded at the core of self-worth. He is dealing with a loss on several levels, including one of identity—whether he recognizes it and talks about it, or doesn’t.