I Am, #2 | Poetry | Hudson Valley | Chronogram Magazine

i am not static, but i am solid

and it's strange to be both.

i'm just

flowing through the current

and occasionally someone else slams right into me

and sometimes it's not but

sometimes it's exactly where they're supposed to be

and i used to think that i could control the current

but that's absurd. i'm a girl, not a river

not a river with the wind whirling above it and the sediments

congealing on the floor and the plates shifting beneath it

and the magma crackling and the core burning

i am a girl

with two feet and sometimes my face on the ground

i am a girl who won't eat anything that was once

a living breathing thing like me

because i am a part of the river, or at least i seem to be

and all i ever wanna do is feel clean and pure and clear

but it's far more important to just Be Here

once i was told that i was solid, like a black lab in the snow

when someone was reminding me that i was not supposed to go

(now i can't even believe that i ever wanted to leave)

because right now i'm a rock in the river, settled deep into the sand

and i'm strong and i am rooted and a friend can hold my hand

and i listen and i listen and sometimes i understand

but all you need is one stubborn trout to push that rock right back out

i think that the real goal is to be rooted without roots

the current whirls and twirls you

but that does not refute

anything that's happened or anywhere you'll go

the river just reminds you

how little you know

—Alexa Salvato

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