Advice | Poetry | Hudson Valley | Chronogram Magazine
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Advice 

Last Updated: 01/05/2015 12:12 pm

Take advice from one who just turned eighty-four

Ladies, you don't have to shave your legs anymore

The hair once crowning your head grows thin

Because all that hair is now on your chin.


While your hearing aid is in the shop for repair

Just carry on as though it were still there

Smile a lot even if you can't hear what's said

And hope they didn't tell you their spouse is now dead.


Wear those glasses with a nonchalant air

They're so stylish either round, oval, or square

Flaunt them on your face not hidden on your neck

You can still see the big things, so what the heck.


No more dentists humming behind his drill

As he tells you how many teeth he must fill

You've won that war with your teeth at last

See them smiling at you from your bedside glass.


Don't get upset if your kids come home and yell

"What in heaven's sake is that horrible smell?"

You were doing just fine without their commentary

You didn't smell anything out of the ordinary.


Just a few thoughts as I turn eighty-four

I'll have even more to say when I'm ninety-four

Remember to keep a sense of humor as you age

Adjust your expectations of fun at every stage.

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