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For January 2012

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Your relationship life has been nothing less than surreal the past few months, and you may feel like you’re experiencing a kind of replay of everything that you’ve been through. The question now and for the foreseeable future involves commitment. Relationships of any kind call for being held in a container made of agreements. For you right now, both the content and the structure of those agreements is what is up for review. One particular relationship is calling for a complete revision of the “sacred contracts” that are involved, some of which are not so holy. Once you start, this will naturally branch out into the other relationships in your life. As you embark on that you may notice that your current agreements contain all kinds of odd little clauses, riders, and addenda that take you off the main point of what your relationships are about. These are silent expectations, and many of those you can trace back to your parents and grandparents. It’s similar to how the deed on a house or piece of property can contain requirements on subsequent owners, based on agreements made 100 years ago. Note that the first of those supposed requirements where a relationship is concerned involves the concept of ownership itself, which is infused through nearly all of our ideas about “romantic” partnership or marriage. This is the place to start asking questions—or rather, the first things to question are the obvious ones.

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