At a certain point we all learn to stop judging ourselves. It could be sooner; it could be later. But in terms of saving time, emotional energy and conserving opportunities that only come once, the sooner, the better. One thing you might have to get over is the notion that the kind of self-critique you’re accustomed to makes you a better person. I don’t think it does. I would say that the only possibility we have of being better people is awareness, and the gradual, repeated choice to surround ourselves with aware people. In the trapeze act of life, we need to work together and the main thing we need support in is consciousness. What you seem destined to learn over the next few weeks is that having a fixed concept of who you are, or who you’re supposed to be, is the basis of your overly critical opinion of yourself. Judgment requires criteria, and when those are unconscious, unreasonable or unrealistic, then the assessment is more of a mental or emotional trip than it is a growth process. You’re working toward an extraordinarily rare moment of being able to let go of the self-concept that is at the heart of this crisis. With it, you may find yourself letting go of certain ideas of why exactly you deserve so much attention. You do, but it’s for reasons other than you think.
Taurus (April 19-May 20)
Visualization is one of the tests of what is possible in the world, or rather, what is possible for you. If you can imagine something, then you can assume it’s possible. One reason we stop ourselves doing this is because we assume that if we fear something, then it may happen; then we shut down the process of imagining, even of the things we want or worse yet, what we actually are. This is a way of letting fear rule your life. I want to propose two exercises that involve the theme of how you see yourself. The first involves observing yourself now: how you move through your day, and how your mind navigates the ocean of consciousness. Notice your moods and what affects them; how you respond to people and how they respond to you. Notice every time you make a decision, and observe the basis of each decision you make; that is, the information you’re working with that leads you to action. This is an exercise in mindfulness; that is, paying attention and staying awake. The second involves envisioning yourself in the future: not what you will look like or what you will be doing, but rather how you want your presence in the world to feel. This is subtle, but not so subtle as you may think.
Gemini (May 20-June 21)
Every time you tell yourself how open-minded and flexible you are, I suggest that you question this assessment. I’m not saying you’re wrong; but you won’t know if you’re not asking. Every time you discover that you’re actually less progressive than you think is an opportunity to make a choice to open your mind to other influences. Part of the problem is that we currently have exceedingly few examples of what it means to actually be open. Our entire social climate is so guarded right now that the smallest modicum of depth or authenticity feels completely radical. This is a distortion. If you’re on a path of self-development, seeking your freedom and willing to explore, I suggest that you open yourself to the ideas of other cultures and other times in history. What is normal now is not what is or was normal at other points in space and time. We live in a unique moment, most notably because so many people feel so paralyzed and indeed passive, waiting for something to happen. You seem to be among those who have decided that you’ve waited long enough. One thing to look at closely is everything you avoid; check out what you pretend you don’t want; make a little note every time you decide something is impossible. Then, ask yourself how you came to be in this place.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
The ethics of a professional situation may be weighing on you, but I would propose that’s a waste of your imagination and thus your potential. You seem intent on proving yourself right, or demonstrating who you are; give it up. You’re as right as you need to be, and it’s only a point of emotional confusion, based on the past, that is leading you to believe that you’ve got a problem that you do not have. So what’s really going on? You want more, with urgent, yearning, lustful passion. You may not even know what that passion is pushing you toward. This seems to conflict with a self-image of certainty that you’ve been trying to project. This image, however, is different than the substance of what you actually want. True, you may be thinking in terms of status and social acceptability, but your real quest involves expanding your horizons. I suggest you think less in terms of results and more in terms of your potential. That will mean devoting yourself to new things rather than sticking with the ones you’ve been pushing with such determination. You’re much closer to connecting with one of those fresh experiences than you imagine. The key is this: Give up on whether it’s right or wrong by an external standard. Connect with the calling that only you can articulate to yourself.
