Whatever happened in late August was in some way life-altering; which is to say, it looks like you had a moment of clarity. An innovator of therapy named Fritz Perls once said that his definition of learning is discovering that something is possible. So I would ask: what did you discover is possible? Did you challenge yourself to do something that made you push your abilities or talents? That might even include challenging someone who had undue authority in your life. You might have challenged a belief that was holding you back; and if you have not quite squared up to that yet, there's still time. You remain determined to live your life your way, beyond what's typical even for you. Take this advantage while you have it. You can proceed with the confidence that your truth is your truth, and if you don't live for that, you're not really living. This will, of some necessity, involve conflict. This doesn't need to be jackets-off, outside type of conflict, but it might mean some abrasion. Little scrapes and skirmishes will help you get clear about who you are and what you want. And nearly everyone on the planet needs practice standing up for themselves. Before long you will be able to dial this back and be on friendly terms with the many people who see, and moreover feel, who you are.