At a Halloween party in 2000 she met drummer Brian Viglione. "The moment Brian walked in and I saw him I knew [collaborating] was meant to be," says Palmer. The two immediately started working on songs, debuting as the Dresden Dolls soon after. With their striking steampunk image, piano/drums configuration, and Palmer's dark, often humor-laced songs, the band became the Brechtian doyens of the Boston club scene and a touring dynamo, releasing 2003's A Is for Accident and The Dresden Dolls (both 8ft.) before signing with major indie Roadrunner for 2006's Yes, Virginia... and 2008's No, Virginia.... Tangentially, Palmer began developing her solo career, in 2007 unveiling Who Killed Amanda Palmer (Roadrunner). The critically hailed disc generated controversy with the tracks "Oasis," a semi autobiographical song about rape and abortion, and "Leeds United," whose midriff-baring video Palmer alleges label brass wanted to doctor because they felt she looked fat (the latter dispute caused fans to stage a "ReBellyOn" by posting pictures of their own bellies and supportive messages online). The last straw broke when Roadrunner told the Dolls their newest album had sold "only" 25,000 copies upon release and was being branded a "failure" by the label. In 2008 the duo, fried from constant touring, parted ways with Roadrunner and decided to take a break. "[The Dresden Dolls] still play shows every once in a while; there's definitely no bad blood between us," says Palmer, who reunited with Viglione for a 2010 world tour. "I don't think we'll ever totally stop playing together. We love each other too much."
Soon, another kind of love entered Palmer's life. In 2009, while she was working with musician Jason Webley in the short-lived duo Evelyn Evelyn, Webley introduced her to one of his friends, the award-winning author Neil Gaiman (The Sandman, Stardust, Coraline). "We knew each other's work and both had this sort of 'culty-famous' background," says Palmer. "And we share the same kind of sensibilities in what we do. We started hanging out, one thing led to another, and one day we woke up married." The pair now live in the Hudson Valley—though not together. "Just because we're married doesn't mean we want to be roommates," says the singer, who has collaborated with her husband on the books Who Killed Amanda Palmer: A Collection of Photographic Evidence and The Bed Book (2009 and 2014, respectively; both Eight Foot Books) and on the live album An Evening with Neil Gaiman & Amanda Palmer (2013, 8ft. Records). "To us it feels normal. The way most other married couples live is weird."
Theatre Is Evil's Kickstarter drive made international news, not just because of its stratospherically successful results, but also for what followed. While setting up a tour to support the album, Palmer invited fans who played string instruments to perform "in exchange for love and tickets and beer" with her band the Grand Theft Orchestra at points along the tour. Although Palmer maintains it was intended as a gesture of communal thanks to her devotees, the act generated a firestorm from certain quadrants of the Internet, its venomous detractors raging that Palmer, who'd just raised over $1 million online, was insulting and exploiting musicians in asking them to play for free. The backlash was a monumental misunderstanding, she says: "[The critics] couldn't see the exchange that was happening between me and my crowd—an exchange that was very fair to us, but alien to them." Eventually, however, she decided to silence the haters by paying the players anyway.
Despite her busy musical career, Palmer has never abandoned the theater. In 2006 and 2007, in conjunction with the American Repertory Theater and with live accompaniment by the Dresden Dolls, she staged "The Onion Cellar," a musical based on Gunter Grass's novel The Tin Drum. She also reunited with Bogart to produce the play "With the Needle That Sings in Her Heart" (inspired by The Diary of Anne Frank and the Neutral Milk Hotel album In the Aeroplane Over the Sea) and a hugely successful adaptation of the Broadway evergreen "Cabaret." In 2012 she began a fertile relationship with Bard College, where Gaiman teaches, and developed Theatre Is Evil's live show while in residency. This month at Bard she and Bogart will debut "The Bed Show," an original musical starring Palmer, with new songs and a cast of 13 students. "Acting requires you to be in a vulnerable place," says actor and grad student Harry Beer. "But with Amanda and Steve we've learned so much about supporting each other. There hasn't been anything we've been afraid to try."