This month we welcome you to the world of female sexuality with selected excerpts from a few of the chapters in the new book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal (Mango Garden Press, 2009), by Sheri Winston. The book is replete with descriptions, illustrations, quotations, learning tools, tips for guys, and humor, and it covers not just a woman’s remarkable body but also the multiple facets of what Winston calls wholistic sexuality, for both men and women. Winston is a sex teacher, certified nurse-midwife, gynecology practitioner, registered nurse, holistic healer, childbirth educator, massage therapist, and student of the esoteric erotic arts. She is executive director of the Center for the Intimate Arts in Kingston.—Lorrie Klosterman
Believe it or not, the majority of contemporary books and illustrations of female genital anatomy leave out most of the equipment responsible for arousal and orgasm. When these specialized sexual structures are omitted from the images and text, they’re also absent from our mental model. This limits your ability to access your full sexual potential—it’s kind of like a psychological chastity belt.
There is much more to women’s pleasure than the clitoris, and there’s more to the clitoris than meets the eye. This ultra-sensitive sweet button is only the tip of the female volcano, just one component of a whole network of erogenous structures. Women have an interlocking set of sexual pleasure parts, most of which are unknown or misunderstood.
In fact, women have just as much erotic equipment in their bodies as men do. That’s right. The female apparatus is equivalent in size to that of the male—it’s just not as obvious. Pound for pound, inch for inch, women have the same amount of the good stuff as guys.
Since we don’t know about all of these yummy parts, we’re operating with a limited mental model. It’s as if we’ve been trying to play the piano and make beautiful music but are only aware of a quarter of the keys. With most of the keyboard missing, we can still make lovely music, but the range is restricted.
When we discover the complete network of structures and understand how the connected system works together, it’s as if we now know where all the keys are (plus the foot pedals!). Then we can learn how to fully play our instrument and make a much wider, more expansive range of music. Some songs that seemed well outside our ability now become possible. We may not be able to play a Mozart sonata or have 15-minute orgasms right away, but we can see that it’s possible to get there.
An Erector Set of Her Own
To discover what’s really there, let’s imagine that we’re going under the skin, fatty tissue, and top layer of muscles of the female genitals to reveal what’s hiding underneath—an exquisite treasure awaiting discovery. There is a rich variety of structures and systems there, including what I call the female erectile network.
Erectile tissue is a unique type of tissue, mostly consisting of a compacted mass of specialized capillaries. Capillaries are the tiniest blood vessels in the body, characterized by a wall that’s only one cell thick. You have regular capillaries all over your body, supplying each and every tiny cell. The thin wall allows for exchange to take place, enabling our bodies to absorb things like oxygen and nutrients, and to get rid of things like waste products.
Erectile tissue, however, boasts some very unusual and talented capillaries with an extra-special ability. They contain a multitude of miniscule one-way valves that stay open when you’re not aroused, allowing blood to flow just like regular circulation. When you get turned on, the valves close, causing the tissue to fill up with blood. It’s as if you’d stopped the drain at the bottom of your bathtub, but still have the faucet on. Blood continues to flow into the one-way passage, but it can’t get out. In addition, some of your erectile tissue has balloon-like extra spaces where you can pack even more red-hot blood, increasing that extra-stiff feeling.
When the erectile capillaries fill, the tissue becomes enlarged, firm, and wonderfully sensitive, producing the delightful state called engorgement. Women have a network of structures that are composed of this wondrous expandable erectile tissue. When a penis gets hard, a guy gets an erection. When a woman gets her erectile network fired up, she gets a “herection.”
The female erectile network is made up of the interconnected but separate structures of the clitoris, the vestibular bulbs, and the urethral and perineal sponges. The clitoris is composed of three parts, the head, the shaft, and the legs. The paired vestibular bulbs form fat parentheses around the vaginal opening, lying under the lips (labia). There’s a tubular sponge of erectile tissue surrounding the urethra that lies above the roof of the vagina. Another spongy erectile pad lies under the vaginal floor, in the wall between the vaginal and anal canals.
Together, these structures form a connected set of erogenous equipment designed by evolution to work and play nicely together. Remember, Mother Nature wants to ensure that reproduction is a desirable activity!
Electric Erectile Circuits
Each of these structures is linked to the others, forming an arousal matrix—the elegant female erectile network. In fact, women have two interwoven circuits of erectile tissue, including all three parts of the clitoris, and the erectile structures in the floor, sidewalls, and roof of the vagina. One circuit forms the cuff around the vaginal opening. The second circuit overlaps the cuff and includes the whole clitoris.
Everything feels better when the whole system is activated. A wide variety of stimulation can lead to arousal when the focus expands beyond the clitoral head (not that it should be ignored, either!). In particular, when the whole erectile cuff is engorged, penetration feels marvelous! Without all of the structures pleasured and puffed, insertion and thrusting are not nearly so arousing and may be downright uncomfortable. Pleasure is maximized when all circuits are online.
Appreciating the Arousal Arrangement
The women’s arousal network has remarkable abilities that differentiate it from the male’s member. Women can get aroused and be orgasmic with only part of the network activated. The penis is different: guys have more of an all-or-nothing erectile experience. Women’s arousal and orgasmic experiences directly depend on which areas of their network have been neglected or stimulated. When the entire network is thoroughly engorged, a woman will tend to have the most fulfilling orgasmic response. It’s as if an entire orchestra was engaged in a symphony. Unfortunately, though, since they don’t know it’s all there, many women are only playing with part of their equipment, thus limiting their erotic adventures.
For women to reach their full sexual potential, they need to discover this network of erogenous circuits. When that whole system is fully utilized, it becomes considerably easier for women to expand their arousal, access amazing orgasmic states, and discover their deep and wondrous wildness. When you know all your parts and give them the attention they so richly deserve, your music can become a powerful symphony of ecstasy.
A Womb of Her Own
The uterus, or womb, is an amazingly strong multilayered organ shaped like a pear. It has multiple muscle layers and a remarkable lining capable of adapting to the cyclic changes of the fertility cycle. The cervix is the bottom part of the uterus—think of it as the smaller end of the pear. It nestles in the back of the vaginal canal. The opening to the uterus, called the os, is in the center of the cervix.
Inside the cervix are microscopic glandular crypts that secrete a special slick mucus during the fertile time of a woman’s cycle. These “sperm hotels” support the reproductive process by keeping the sperm alive for up to five days as they await a forthcoming egg. The fertile mucus produced by these glands also acts like a slip-and-slide to help sperm on their journey into the uterus.
The uterus is not a fixed organ—it moves. It rises and falls, following a predictable pattern, during a woman’s fertility cycle. When a woman is most fertile, the uterus rests highest up. When she’s about to bleed or during her bleeding time, it sits lowest down. But the fertility cycle isn’t the only cause of uterine movement. It also moves during arousal.
As a woman gets turned on, muscle tension increases, which causes the round ligaments to shorten. The round ligaments are a pair of long, ropy muscles surrounded by a fibrous sheath, which begin on either side of the top of the uterus and pass over the top of the pubic bones, with the far ends attaching to the muscle that encircles the opening of the vagina. When the round ligaments shorten, this action lifts the womb up and forward while pleasurably tugging on the muscular opening of the vagina. As the woman’s turn-on escalates, the womb is raised further and further up, like a taut bowstring being pulled way back. This also opens up a space at the back of the vagina, forming a nice cozy sperm-bowl and proving once again how clever Mother Nature is. It also pulls the cervix safely out of the way of any potential battering.
Now here’s the really good part: During orgasm, the uterus pulses up and down in a deep, slow, throbbing background rhythm that provides a bass counterpoint to the faster quivering of the pelvic floor muscles as they spasm. This pulsing adds emotional and erotic richness to the orgasm, and it also helps the uterus to suck up any sperm that happen to be hanging around in the nice open bowl at the back of the vaginal vault.
Hot Tips for Guys
When approaching a woman sexually, whether it’s over dinner or in the bedroom, remember that most women have core yin energy. Yin energy is about opening and receiving, while yang energy is about giving and doing. Everyone has both energetic poles within them. Much of the time, most women are operating with receptive energy at their center. It moves from the outside in toward the center, so she needs to be aroused by starting at the edges and working your way in. You want her to bloom open like a flower. Think of it as a pilgrimage to a sacred temple where the journey is as important as the destination. Begin the trip by taking the time to connect with her emotionally, energetically, and physically. Delight and awaken her whole body. Only after you feel her open and sense her energy accumulating in her sex center should you turn your attention there.
Think of your partner as having concentric zones, with the innermost one your ultimate target. I invite you to imagine them as a seven-step stairway to heaven:
1. The outermost zone—your larger connection: the context and surroundings, and both of your energy fields.
2. The nonerogenous areas of her body—shoulders, calves, arms, and so on.
3. The nongenital erogenous zones—lips, mouth, ears, neck, breasts.
4. The genital vicinity—thighs, butt, hips, lower back.
5. The yard—the vulva, mons, and outer lips of the pussy. These are the parts of her genitalia that are accessible from the outside. Think of her outer lips and the mons as a garden that surrounds a temple—hang out there for a while before moving to the porch. There’s a lot to appreciate and enjoy in the yard!
6. The porch (vestibule)—the soft wet middle areas: inner labia, clitoris, and delicate areas around the vaginal and anal openings.
7. Her inner sanctums—inside the vagina and anus.
It’s important to remember that not all nerves are created alike. The deep nerves are very different from the nerve endings that are part of the more sensitive erectile tissue, especially in the head of the clitoris and the mucosa around the lips and entrance of the vagina. It’s great to pound when you’re deep inside and your partner’s at high arousal with her cervix pulled out of the way. With her more delicate nerve endings, it’s better to stay delicate and subtle. They respond best to lighter tactile sensations such as caressing, light rhythmic motions, and slippery rubbing.
Here’s some advice for you when you’re a bit lost—ask for directions! I know it can be embarrassing, and it definitely violates the Guy Code, but we love it when you ask! Really, there’s nothing sexier than a guy who makes it safe for us to tell him exactly what we like. It doesn’t mean you’re clueless, especially since what we like changes from day to day and moment to moment, depending on where we are in our cycle, how aroused we are, the time of day, and a multitude of other unpredictable factors. Trust me, there’s no way anyone could get it right all the time without guidance.
Sheri Winston will be presenting a “clothes on, hands off” workshop based on Women's Anatomy of Arousal on Thursday, February 25 from 7 to 9:30pm at the Beahive Space, 314 Wall Street, Kingston. www. intimateartscenter.com.
