The UN is Coming for your Guns | National | Hudson Valley | Chronogram Magazine

Did you know that? That the United Nations is plotting with the Obama administration to take away your guns?

You would if you read the Washington Times! Alright, the Washington Times is loony. And moony, founded, supported, and controlled in fluctuating degrees by Rev. Sun Myung Moon. Moon is the founder of the Unification Church because Jesus appeared to him when he was 15 and asked Moon to finish the work he’d left undone.

I would never have known about this dire threat to our very constitutional survival if I had not been doing the Google search of the top 10 or 50 or whatever conservative websites. We have become a bifurcated nation with a bifurcated mind. My top news source is the “The Daily Show.” I read the New York Times every morning. (Did you know that many people consider the New York Times to be liberal? Only en extremis, when they figure conservative ideas are so out of whack that they threaten the very existence of advertising revenue.) Then there’s Huffington Post, an aggregator, and Alternet for actual liberalism. Since I live in a car culture and I need noise in my automobile, I listen to NPR, which I find to be excellent, since, as Stephen Colbert has pointed out, facts have a liberal bias.

I admit it, I never watch Fox News. If I had Jon Stewart’s staff and his platform, so I could tear into them phrase by phrase, sure, watching Fox News would be fun. But as a regular person, I just have to sit there and take it. Which is intolerable.

I don’t go to the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute, or any of the other right-wing think tank sites, except for research.

I’m guessing that many of you have the same tastes and instincts that I do. But there’s a whole half a loaf out there that listens to Limbaugh and Michael Savage, watches Glenn Beck, gets what they call news from Fox, who go to the right web sites, and who are on e-mail lists that send them urgent flashes about the threats to the freedom of oil companies and such. They have a completely different reality.

Here are some snapshots from their world. It’s not fair or balanced, it’s not in depth, it’s just what I found in a few webbed hours.

In case you’ve forgotten, your president is: COMMIE OBAMA—Radical Communist, Islamic Terrorist-Supporting, POTUS Usurper. That’s from It can also be found on,, and If you’re wondering who gives the orders, a headline across from it that says, Obama’s Boss’ Boss? Vladimir Putin, with no actual article. Headlines below announce Obama’s Not Kenyan, He’s KGB, Poland Shaken by Soviet Agent Obama’s Words, and USURPER OBAMA, SOVIET AGENT.

Over at the Heritage Foundation, there’s a featured book review of The Communist—Frank Marshall Davis: The Untold Story of Barack Obama’s Mentor. “Davis was indisputably a pro-Soviet, pro-Red China communist. A card-carrying member of the Communist Party USA, he is cited by the Associated Press as an ‘important influence’ on Barack Obama, one whom he ‘looked to’ not merely for ‘advice on living’ but also as a ‘father’ figure.’”

The Heritage Foundation is one of the Cadillacs (whoops! can’t say that, GM was saved by Obama) a Lincoln Navigator among right-wing propaganda mills. It’s been around since 1973, it is well funded, failed Republican candidates go there to collect a salary, and calling yourself a senior scholar there can get you on a reputable op-ed page.

There are some on the right that disagree with the portrayal of Obama as a Communist.

Joseph Farah, founder, editor and CEO of WND, a nationally syndicated columnist, and the author or co-author of 13 books, doesn’t think BHO is a commie. Uh-uh. “We have a modern day practitioner of fascism in Barack Obama.” When we fought them in WWII and for 50 years thereafter we thought fascists were on the right. Uh-uh. “Liberals delude themselves into believing fascism is a ‘right-wing ideology.’ It isn’t and it never was. Mussolini was a leftist. So was Hitler. They were both socialists.” Therefore, “We should really call him Benito Obama—or maybe just Obamalini.”

Michelle Bachmann writes “Muslim Brotherhood infiltrating Obama administration.” Michael Savage calls “Obama most evil president ever. Any doubt Americans may have had that Barack Obama is a Marxist should be alleviated.” Which is fairly mild by Michael Savage standards. It leaves me wondering if there is a most- and least-evil presidential ranking somewhere.

Maine Governor Calls Obamacare’s IRS Agents the “New Gestapo.” That’s Paul LePage, the guy who took the murals out of Maine’s Department of Labor because they depicted people working. He perceived that as hostile to business. (Hey, before you sneer, remember, genuine Americans elected him.)

Another warning. Obama preparing for citizen uprising? Exclusive: Andrea Shea King sounds warning over White House power grab.

Actual Republican presidential candidates have mentioned that Obama has a “Kenyan anti-colonial mindset” and is the “most radical president in American history” (Newt Gingrich). He has “some phony theology. Not a theology based on the Bible,” which is why he’s “systematically trying to crush the traditional Judeo-Christian values of America” (Rick Santorum). He associates with people who have “fought against religion…we have a president who doesn’t understand America” (Mitt Romney).

And, no, he was not born in America. Hawaii official now swears: No Obama birth certificate. Signs affidavit declaring long-form, hospital-generated document absent. That’s from Rush himself.

This showed up in an e-mail: “An intensive investigation has revealed” that Obama is using a fake social security number. It actually belongs to “Jean Paul Ludwig, who was born in France in 1890, immigrated to the United States in 1924.” That’s fraud! If it brings “this lying, deceitful, cheating, corrupt, impostor to justice it will be the biggest and best news in decades for our country and the world.”

Fortunately, space prevents me from repeating the jokes about watermelons and food stamps. Or the one where the punch line is that Obama’s mother had sex with a dog. This was sent around by Montana Chief US District Judge Richard Cebull. When it came out, the judge defended himself by saying that he didn’t send it because it was racist, though he knew it was, he sent it because it was anti-Obama.

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