Esteemed Reader: September 2011

by Jason Stern, August 26, 2011

Esteemed Reader of Our Magazine:

Walking along a busy city street with my son, his hand was suddenly wrenched from mine. In a panic I looked around and saw him walking swiftly and determinedly toward a woman we had passed, sitting on the sidewalk on a street corner with a paper cup in front of her. Sensing what he was up to, I followed behind slowly, watching him carefully as we both wended our way though the crowds of walkers.

As he reached the woman, who was in her 30s, and wearing a headscarf (she looked like a gypsy), he reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out a coin. He held it up the glinting metal, their eyes met, and they both smiled as he dropped the coin in her cup. He ran back to me, placing his small, strong hand in mine. And we continued walking.

There was nothing to say to the boy, who had done a generous deed, arising in the moment, in response to a need he perceived, and impelled by his own will. There was nothing to say because it was an essential act and I was loath to overlay it with any moralism or interpretation. Unlike the coaching and cajoling required to get him to brush his teeth in the morning, the act had come from him, and I wanted to keep it clean.

There were two interconnected ideas this event gave me to ponder.

One is the preciousness of the force of will as it operates through a person, unimpeded by notions of should or could, moralism or belief—just the straight stuff of seeing a need and responding, serving from oneself, in the moment.

That will is like a flower bud, that, given the right conditions, will bloom into the beauty that it is. It can’t be pried open or required to bloom. It will when it is ready, in response to the right conditions of light and air, heat and humidity. Of course a flower can be “forced,” as can the will, but the term is misleading, as the coax is simply providing the conditions that would otherwise allow it to bloom.