We’ll be the first to admit: There’s something so romantic about saying your “I Dos” in a rustic barn. Luckily upstate New York is teeming with them. Just picture it—the exposed wooden rafters, the effortless lighting peeking through the wooden slats, that rich, old musky smell that you couldn’t re-create if you tried—it’s all there. But there’s plenty that goes into making all that romance and beauty come to life. Sure, a lot of it is built-in charm that you get just by signing a venue contract, but there’s plenty that goes on behind the scenes, much like with a more traditional wedding venue (we’re looking at you, ballrooms and banquet halls). From a few of our favorite spots in the Hudson Valley, to the dos and don’ts of making your big day perfect, here’s everything you need to know before you book that barn.
Informal Is the New Normal
Planners always say picking the venue is one of the toughest parts, if not the toughest part, of wedding planning. And they’re right! After you’ve chosen your location, a lot of your style aesthetic falls into place: You’re not going to have a rustic ballroom wedding (we’d love to see that!) or a gothic English garden affair. But maybe that’s why brides have fallen in love with barn weddings—you can go as rustic or as elegant as you want, says Karin Hlywiak, owner and lead wedding coordinator for Cinderella for a Day, based in Kingston. Barns allow couples a tremendous amount of room for customization. Favor a backyard barbecue over a full sit-down dinner? Either will work in a barn venue. Or, maybe your guests don’t want to leave after the music shuts down—you can have a bonfire in the back and roast marshmallows over the fire. Hlywiak has even arranged an outdoor lounge area, complete with a projector screen to re-create the vibe of a drive-in theater. Guests relaxed and watched a movie late into the night. But our favorite part about barn weddings? While some barns feature antique cars or tractors as charming décor, you don’t have to worry about kicking over a precious piece of art like at a museum venue or scratching up the parquet or marble floors in a ballroom. Daniel Giessinger, co-owner of Shadow Lawn in High Falls, says, “Guests relax and have fun—the setting shakes off a formality that people expect at a wedding, and that makes for a great party.”
But we don’t have to tell you that behind every amazing wedding, there’s a lot of preparation and planning. Barn weddings are not the exception. Every detail, down to your wedding dress, has to be taken into consideration (you don’t want that delicate organza or Chantilly lace to get torn on the floor). Giessinger notes that because barns aren’t very regimented, the couple has to plan their wedding experience to a T. “Not everybody wants to make that many decisions.” Here are a few things to consider while you’re planning a barn wedding:
Your Guest List: Barns aren’t always built to accommodate a big number of people. The average barn can usually hold around 150 guests, but that number can go up to over 300 and down to below 100. For instance, the barn at Stone Tavern Farm in Roxbury can hold up to 400 people. For a more intimate affair, Tralee Farm in Stone Ridge can only hold up to 175 people in their barn. Of course, some smaller barns could probably seat more guests if you really tried, but you don’t want people to feel uncomfortable, and you also have to worry about safety regulations. Plus, you can’t forget about where the band or DJ will be stationed and where people can dance. Stone Tavern’s barn has a built-in stage for your band and plenty of space for dancing. Tralee Farm has an incredible eight-foot-tall apple tree hanging from the ceiling that is commonly strung with twinkle lights for a striking décor piece over the dance floor.
If you’re having a destination wedding, you also have to think about where all your wedding guests will be staying, and how they are getting to the wedding venue. Because your venue is a barn, chances are, it’s not near many big hotels. Luckily, some barns, like Apple Barn Farm in Livingston, have on-site housing where you can rent out cabins for the weekend. Ask your venue for nearby lodging suggestions—bed-and-breakfasts are a great way to keep your business local and help support the economy. If many people are staying off-site, also consider transportation. It’s always nice to offer busing to and from a common place, which can cut down on overcrowding and confusion at the venue if there isn’t enough parking to accommodate all your guests the day of.
Setup: It’s standard practice to begin setup for a wedding the night before. Keep in mind, though, that barns are often open to the elements overnight: Birds can fly in and out and ants and flies get into everything. Hlywiak recommends covering tables with plastic sheets so that nothing gets ruined overnight. “Dust kicks up on the floor, birds could poop on your tables; if you get plastic, it’s a small investment and assures you that your tables won’t be destroyed when you arrive the next day.” Then there are small things like making sure lose nails aren’t on the floor—you don’t want a toddler to find that out while they’re wandering around. Marybeth Boruta, the manager and wedding coordinator at Apple Barn Farm, says she goes as far as making sure every single light bulb is working in the barn—this way, when you get to dinner, you can rest assured all your guests will be able to see the people sitting across the table from them.
Also remember that not everything takes place indoors. You don’t want your guests to arrive and have to weed whack their way through a field to find the barn. Have staff directing people to the proper location and pathways on the farm. If it rained the night before, guests might find themselves sinking into the grass—Boruta recommends putting gravel down and then throwing a drop cloth over it for easier traversing. And speaking of pathways, when it gets dark, make sure your guests can see where they’re going. A fun way to do this is to set luminaries along pathways: to the bathroom, to the bonfire, to the parking area.
The Weather: Remember, barns weren’t originally constructed for people. Because of this, more often than not, you won’t have central air-conditioning, or heat if things get cold. In the summer, it can get very hot in a barn, so fans are important for circulating air. As soon as fall rolls around, don’t think that you can get away with a few blankets. Heat lamps are nice in concept, but like Hlywiak says, “they only heat the immediate area, so you’ll need to force heated air into the barn to keep people warm.” Another consideration is having a plan B in case you can’t have your outdoor ceremony due to rain. Always have a tent set up or have the barn staged for a ceremony, as well. Then again, rain isn’t always bad news, says Giessinger: “Guests are warm and dry inside the barn while the rain pelts the roof; although you might not expect it, these are the makings of a truly memorable party.”
Then there are the photos: A lot of the appeal of having a barn wedding is for those amazing photo ops on the property, but weather plays a big role in making those shots unforgettable. Sure, the rain could put a damper on them, but so could heat. Boruta goes the extra mile and shuts down Apple Barn Farm during the hottest part of the summer. Why would she turn away business at the height of wedding season? “In a drought I can’t keep the grass green enough. And I promise green lawns,” Boruta says. Those photos won’t look quite as picturesque with dying, grayish grass.
Power, Bathrooms, and Cooking: When you’re saying “I Do” in a banquet hall, it’s understood that you’ll have enough power to accommodate the band and the lighting, and plenty of bathrooms for a big guest list, plus a kitchen that can cook for your entire wedding. But out on the farm, things don’t come as easily. Some barns do come with a built-in restroom, but one bathroom isn’t enough for your guest list of 200. A general rule of thumb is that you should have one restroom per 35 guests. Turned off by the idea of a Porta Potty? (So are we.) Instead, consider renting the modern-day versions, which are beautiful, heated, restroom trailers that don’t disrupt the elegance of your wedding design.
Then there’s the power plan. Your barn might not even be wired! Knowing all your power needs is important, so be in constant contact with all your vendors about refrigeration and wattage requirements for equipment. Find out what the venue can account for and if you require a generator.
Your caterer can make or break your wedding. While some barns have houses with working kitchens, your caterer may need more space. They may be able to bring in their own catering tent or trailer, but you’ll have to answer questions like “Where can we get water from?” “Where do we store ice?” “These are the things you have to think about beforehand,” notes Hlywiak. They should also know that they shouldn’t bring out your cake too early, or it could melt in the summer heat. And if you’re having a buffet meal, that should only be presented right as guests are ready to eat; otherwise, the bugs could get to it first.
Breakdown: Unlike traditional venues in cities, barn weddings have to abide by certain town ordinances, so things tend to wrap up earlier. “You have to follow the town ordinance, so be sure to check when loud music has to be shut down,” says Boruta. You can still stay at the barn, she notes, and have a bonfire or other nighttime activities; just be aware that some staff should stay behind to help out. “Many couples don’t realize they have to clean up the property after they’re done,” says Hlywiak. Be sure you ask about breakdown when you’re meeting with your venue. Is there a cleanup fee; do you have to rent a Dumpster; what are you responsible for doing after everything’s said and done? Maybe you’re renting vintage china—you can’t send that back without rinsing it. But maybe your caterer isn’t willing to do that. Make sure you know all those little details, like who will wash those dishes and where they can do that.
The Bottom Line
While all these details sound overwhelming, barn weddings are just like any other wedding: There will always be countless moving parts. Trust that there will be another set of hurdles to consider with ballroom and banquet halls, too.
When your family and friends come together for a destination barn wedding, the experience is unforgettable. From the premarital dinner to outings over the weekend, the wedding itself, and the brunch the next day, your guests will be entertained and at ease at the same time. By the end, your guests will be telling you, “This was the best wedding ever!”
RESOURCES
Apple Barn Farm Applebarnfarm.com
Cindarella for a Day Cinderella4aday.com
Shadow Lawn Shadowlawnny.com
Stone Tavern Farm Stonetavernfarm.com
Tralee Farm Traleefarm.com
This article appears in January 2014.
