Sex is one of the great mysteries of life. Straightforward for the animal kingdom, for us humans it can be pretty complex—or perhaps we’ve just created the complexity. A fulfilling sex life and good sexual health are truly important. Sex can be incredibly satisfying with a partner you love and who you are truly connected to—through mind, body, and spirit. It can relieve stress, and add that extra spice to the day-to-day repetition of modern living. Because we are such intricate creatures of the mammalian world, our sex lives are sometimes faced with obstacles. Sexual vitality and function may need some revving up from time to time. But you don’t have to resort to Viagra and hormone replacement. From herbs to oils to overall fitness and relaxation, there’s a lot you can do naturally to enhance your sex life.
HERBS FOR PLEASURE
Chinese tonics and herbal aphrodisiacs have been found through the ages to safely, healthfully, and profoundly fortify sexual functioning. They often intensify the pleasure of sexuality and help eliminate roots of sexual dysfunction, frustration, and anxiety. Schizandra berry, which can be taken as an herbal tea or in capsule form, builds energy in the sexual organs while increasing sexual sensitivity and intensifying orgasms. It is considered in Chinese medicine to be one of the most potent herbal aphrodisiacs. Ginseng is a restorative tonic that increases overall well-being and endurance. It is most effective when taken over a period of several months. Lycium berry is a tonic that provides energy needed for sex and also has rejuvenating qualities. It can also be taken in capsule form.
Dong Quai, also called Chinese Angelica, is considered to be one of the most important herbal tonics for women according to Chinese medicine. This herb helps to bring hormones into balance and regulates the entire reproductive system. Damiana is another natural remedy that has been used for centuries by Mexican women, who traditionally drink a cup of damiana tea before lovemaking. It contains a volatile oil that gently stimulates the genitourinary (reproductive and urinary) tract when it is excreted, which acts to enhance sexual arousal. Damiana also has muscle-relaxing properties and is a mild euphoric.
While generally safe, natural remedies do interact with your physiology. Before taking an herbal preparation, learn about possible side effects or warnings. If you are taking any prescription or over-the-counter medications, or are pregnant or nursing, be sure to consult a health practitioner before taking herbal/natural remedies.
APHRODISIAC FOODS
Throughout the centuries people have sought out foods with aphrodisiacal powers and have proclaimed their sexual enhancing qualities. Foods can be sensually delightful simply because of their textures, aromas, and flavors, but certain foods have chemical components that enhance sexual function. You’ve heard of some of them—oysters, chocolate, peppers—and perhaps you’ll discover your own.
Oysters are considered sexy for textural reasons, but there’s more to it than that. A team of American and Italian researchers analyzed bivalve mollusks—a group of shellfish that includes oysters, mussels and clams—and found they were rich in rare amino acids that trigger increased levels of sex hormones. Chilies heat up your sex life due to capsaicin, the special compound that gives a kick to peppers, curries, and other spicy foods. Capsaicin stimulates nerve endings to release natural neurochemicals, raising the heart rate and possibly triggering the release of endorphins—those brain chemicals that give you the pleasurable feeling of a natural high.
Chocolate has been thought of as an aphrodisiac for millennia, perhaps as early as 600 BCE. In modern times, researchers hunting for clues to explain chocolate’s allure have some leads. For instance, chocolate (with its fat and sugar content) triggers the release of brain chemicals such as opioids, dopamine, and serotonin, which are associated with feelings of happiness or elation—positive states for enjoying sexuality. Some of chocolate’s compounds can gently stimulate the central nervous system, which gives an energy boost that increases physical stamina.
Strawberries gained their reputation as an aphrodisiac due to their large number of tiny seeds symbolizing fertility. In art and literature, strawberryies were usually portrayed as symbols of sensuality and earthly desire and have been described as fruit nipples. Strawberries are nutritious, too, containing more vitamin C than any other berry, a good amount of potassium, folic acid, iron, and fiber.
Honey has been known as an aphrodisiac as far back as the 500 BCE. Even Hippocrates prescribed honey for sexual vigor. Everything about honey is romantic, from the way it’s made to its golden appearance and delightful texture. Honey’s rich B vitamin and amino acid content are excellent for sexual health.
EXERCISE
Exercise is one of the most important ways to maintain good sexual health. Exercise strengthens the body, builds endurance, increases flexibility, and relieves stress. The more physically fit you are, the more sexual energy you will have. Exercise also enhances our moods and gives both men and women more confidence about their bodies. Find a form of moderate exercise that you enjoy.
Exercise can also be directed specifically at abdominal or pelvic areas. A three-part exercise based on Taoist practices can strengthen sexual organs while increasing sexual vitality. The exercise begins by sitting in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and start tuning into the breath as it flows into and out of your body. As you inhale, expand the abdomen, and as you exhale, draw the abdomen in toward your spine. Continue to breathe in this fashion for several minutes. Once you feel relaxed, change the flow of your breathing so that as you inhale you draw the abdomen in towards the spine, and as you exhale, expand the abdomen. This reverse breathing generates energy in the pelvic area. As you continue breathing this way tighten the muscles in the pelvic floor (around the vagina, base of the penis, and anus), then relax them as you exhale. Practice this technique for 10 minutes daily to build sexual energy and to strengthen vaginal muscles and to enhance erections and allow greater control over ejaculation.
VAGINAL DRYNESS
Vaginal dryness is a common problem for women of all ages but is more common during menopause and with increasing age due to lower estrogen levels. Estrogen keeps vaginal tissue healthy by maintaining normal vaginal lubrication, tissue elasticity, and acidity. Estrogen levels can fall for a number of other reasons, including recent childbirth, breast-feeding, surgical removal of the ovaries, immune disorders, cigarette smoking, medications such as allergy and cold medications, and certain antidepressants. Symptoms of vaginal dryness include itching and stinging around the vaginal opening, pain and/or light bleeding during intercourse, a general burning sensation, and frequent urination.
A variety of healthy lubricants alleviate dryness during sexual activity. Many are quite effective and more fun than the old KY jelly. Local herbalists often make their own sensual versions. Or check the natural product shelves of naturopathic or natural food stores. Be sure to read the instructions to see if a lubricant is compatible with condoms, as oil-based ones typically render the latex barrier permeable. For longer-term aid with dryness, certain herbs can be helpful. Ginko biloba, taken in tea or capsule form, has been shown to increase blood flow to the genitals and help a variety of sexual ailments including vaginal dryness. Be patient, though. As with many herbs, continued usage is necessary before symptoms improve.
IMPOTENCE
Impotence is defined as the inability of an adult male to achieve (or keep) an erection sufficient for intercourse. Most men will experience this problem at some point in their lives. While it may be a real blow to the male ego, impotence is nothing to be ashamed of. It is just one of the many ways our bodies give us the signal that something is not quite right. There may be an underlying health issue such as hormonal imbalance, diabetes, spinal cord damage, hardening of the arteries, cancer, or overall poor health.
Many drugs such as marijuana, cigarettes, alcohol, antidepressants, and blood pressure medication also interfere with normal erectile function. In addition, periodic impotence may be psychological, with anxiety, stress, depression, and conflict in a relationship being possible contributing factors.
Viagra has taken over in the impotence department, but not without physical side effects. And when Viagra enters the bedroom, the natural flow of sexual intimacy often exits. A pill is popped and voila, he’s raring to go, while his partner needs more time for arousal. Before turning to the little blue pill, consider the following herbs that have been used for centuries by ancient cultures spanning the globe.
For years, Peruvian doctors have been using maca root, a plant in the radish family. Maca comes to us from the Incas and has been shown to enhance sexual pleasure of both genders while having no side affects given its long history of use as a food. Ginseng is another wonderful herb that comes to us from China. Studies have shown that ginseng increases the body’s production of nitric oxide, which enhances the dilation of blood vessels, including those in the penis (which is what causes erection). The bark of a West African tree known as yohimbe contains several chemicals, including yohimbine hydrochloride (available in purified form as a pharmaceutical drug to treat erectile dysfunction), which improves sexual function for some men. Yohimbe, however, has been known to cause nervousness, irritability, and headache, so consult a physician before committing to using it.
SENSATION
Reduced sensation in sexual organs of both genders is not uncommon. Our bodies, especially those of women, are constantly changing, so it would make sense that the way we feel during lovemaking also changes. When sensation during intercourse is on the low side, examine your mind and body for a possible explanation. There may be psychological or emotional reasons that distract you from being in the moment of sexual play. Or, physical factors, such as waning tone in pelvic muscles, could be contributing. Kegel exercises can greatly enhance sexual sensation and can be incorporated into a daily exercise regime (and are good for men, too). Begin by locating your pubococcygeus (PC) muscles: They are the muscles of the pelvic floor that you tighten to intentionally stop urine flow. Contract your PC muscles, squeezing them lightly for five seconds, then relax them for five seconds. Repeat the exercise ten times; do at least three sets of ten throughout the day. Kegels done with vaginal cones or weights, which can be purchased online, can further strengthen muscles. Yogis believe that sexuality is stored in the hips and pelvis, and specific yogic asanas (positions) are thought to increase sensation in the sex organs. Seated butterfly (bound angle pose) is one of these asanas and can easily be practiced daily in a calm, quiet space, or even in front of the television.
LOW LIBIDO
A low libido, or reduced desire for sexual activity, is another common complaint of both men and women. Causes among women are stress, weight gain, headaches, back pain, relationship conflict, inability to reach orgasm, emotional issues, childbirth, onset of menopause, breastfeeding, certain drugs, depression, and hormonal imbalances. For men, low libido is usually associated with impotence, depression, and thyroid problems, but other psychological, emotional, or health issues may also play a role. The stresses of modern life—busy schedules, a lack of attention to the many delights our senses encounter, and our constant connection to technology—all take away from our sensual sides.
A low libido can be enhanced by a variety of herbs including maca, ginseng, and gingko biloba. The supplement L-arginine may help increase sexual desire as well. Essential fatty acids provide hormonal support, while vitamins C and E and zinc are great for circulation. Vitamin E also helps in the production of sex hormones.
The various forms of vitamin B are among the most efficient and important vitamins to increase libido. Specifically, vitamin B3, or niacin, helps the body make a variety of sex-related hormones in both the adrenal glands and elsewhere. In addition, niacin dilates blood vessels, which improves blood flow. This, in turn, increases sexual pleasure and arousal. In fact, research has found that women with insufficient amounts of niacin in the uterus are actually incapable of achieving orgasm.
According to Dr. Maoshing Ni, a doctor of Chinese medicine and author of Secrets of Self-Healing, a sulfur bath or soak in a hot spring is helpful for kidney-adrenal energy and also promotes circulation in the sex organs, which is beneficial for sensation. He also recommends eating a clove of vinegar-pickled garlic daily for one month. These can be purchased, or made at home by filling a glass jar with peeled cloves of garlic and white vinegar. Add one teaspoon salt and seal the jar, storing in a dark space for one month. Another home remedy is to boil a chopped onion, a chopped leek, 3 chopped stalks of chives, 10 slices fresh ginger root, and 1 teaspoon each of turmeric and cayenne in 4 cups of canned chicken stock for 30 minutes, eating one bowl a day.
RECLAIMING SENSUALITY
To improve sexual problems or get more out of an already enjoyable sex life, set aside some time to evaluate the pace of your life, and make time—even if it’s a little at first—to slow down. Enjoy a few small touches that relax and sensualize the mind and body. Soothing baths, aromatherapy, daily exercise, massages, yoga practice, candles, sensual and nourishing meals, inspiration from books, music, and nature—these are all essential to a connected and peaceful existence. See to it that your home is a sanctuary, regardless of its size. Reestablish the bedroom as a sensual space by eliminating anything technological. Use your bed for sleep and intimacy only—or, if you have space, create a special room devoted to sensuality and sexuality.
For a wealth of additional ideas to inspire intimacy and sexual enjoyment, try one of the many books on the topic, such as Margo Anand’s The Art of Sexual Magic and The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, and two books by local authors Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson: The Essence of Tantric Sexuality, and Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life.
This article appears in March 2009.
