GRAND PRIZE:
To Cook a Mockingbird
It’s dead. Now what? Dozens of delicious suggestions.
–William Levitt Jr., Red Hook
BEST SEQUELS:
The Public Sharer
Conrad’s nameless captain and the hitherto mysterious Leggatt announce their nuptials in the New York Times “Vows”column.
–Kelly Spencer, New Paltz
The Tao Te Ka-Ching!
Now that you’re like all serene an’ shit, let’s make some money! Lao-tsu’s guide to personal investments.
–John Berryhill, Red Hook
BEST PREQUELS:
A Tale of One City
It was the best of times, it was the best of times.
–David Smilow, Saugerties
Queen Lear
Being the brief tale of Regan and Goneril’s mom, who died giving birth to their little sis.
–Kelly Spencer, New Paltz
DISHONORABLE MENTION PREQUELS:
Roget’s Tyrannosaurus
In use for innumerable eons, epochs, ages, and millennia before the more portable edition.
–Vladimir Mikolovich, East Jewett
Jonathan Livingston Hatchling
Chick lit.
–Cora Suleen Sprunt, Stone Ridge
Clan of the Precambrian Protozoa
A colony of amoebae bands together to evolve into a multicellular organism.
–Laura Covello, Ulster Park
DISHONORABLE MENTION SEQUELS:
The Catcher in the Focaccia
Holden Caulfield is a phony boulanger at a crumby pâtisserie.
–Aram Macrosian, Shady
The Metamorphosyphilis
Gregor Samsa awakes one morning to find
he’s been changed into a giant cock…
–Dakota Lane, Phoenicia
Dublinerds
Computer fever strikes Trinity College.
–Amlin Gray, New York City
This article appears in November 2008.
