This September, six people will sit down around a kitchen table somewhere in Phoenicia. Another six will gather in Kingston, with others convening in Kerhonkson, Olivebridge, Rhinebeck, Lake Hill, and elsewhere across the Hudson Valley. They will share a potluck meal, follow a few guidelines, and consider the same question being discussed at every other table in the series.
Then they will do it again in October and November.
The Kitchen Table Series is the latest project from BreakBread World, the Kingston-based initiative founded by Martha Williams and John Scilipote to encourage more attentive, substantive conversation. The three-month pilot will place consistent groups of five to seven people in at least 10 homes across the region, with each table led by a trained host. Some participants will arrive as friends; others will be strangers matched with hosts by BreakBread.
Its small scale is intentional. “Six seems to be a sweet spot for intimacy,” Scilipote says. Once a group grows beyond seven, he has found, someone invariably goes unheard and the conversation loses depth. Three monthly gatherings allow trust to develop beyond what can happen during a single dinner.
“When you do it once, it’s surprisingly deep, and you get intimate with others very quickly,” Williams says. “However, when it’s extended over time with the same group, it really starts to create a momentum of trust, which then begins to weave into care.”
The series represents a new stage for BreakBread. Williams and Scilipote have facilitated dinners, workshops, and community events and created the BreakBread Conversation Card Deck, a collection of prompts designed to move people beyond their customary conversational grooves. With the Kitchen Table Series, they are training others to carry the practice into their homes and communities.
Each host will participate in a kickoff with Williams and Scilipote, receive guidance on facilitating the meals, and join check-ins throughout the series. Hosts have latitude in assembling their tables. Some have invited friends who want to know one another more deeply; others are seeking a mix of ages, genders, and backgrounds. BreakBread will also help place interested guests.
The prompts avoid political controversies and demands that participants debate or solve a problem. Instead, they begin with experiences and ideas broad enough for everyone to enter. September’s prompt asks: “Love and loss go hand in hand. How has a moment of love or loss changed you?” October turns to the power of language: “What’s a moment or story when words lifted you up or tore you down? How have you wielded the power of words?” In November, participants will consider the meaning and experience of grace.
“These are ideas which we all have something to say about, but we rarely ever talk about,” Williams says.
Having every table take up the same prompt creates what the founders call a “resonance” across the series. Participants won’t hear the other dinners, but monthly emails and host debriefs will share insights and recurring themes. After the three dinners, everyone will be invited to a closing celebration.
“There’s a sense that everybody is in this conversation about what this means,” Williams says. “It’s like creating meaning together. We are in a crisis of meaning in our society, and this is celebrating the meaning that is right here in the experiences and wisdom of everyday people.”
The project grew from Williams and Scilipote’s own attempts to create more satisfying gatherings. When the pandemic eliminated in-person dinners, they organized an online gathering that quickly became scattered and unfocused. People arrived and departed, attention wandered, and the absence of genuine presence became apparent. The next time, the couple introduced an intention, a prompt, and a structure for listening. They were surprised by how dramatically those modest interventions changed the encounter.
That experiment became BreakBread World and eventually led them to develop a broader practice they call Conversation Alchemy: the idea that bringing greater awareness to how we listen and speak can alter relationships. BreakBread provides an entry point through shared meals, though Williams and Scilipote see conversation itself as a medium for personal and social change.
They call that larger idea “Conversation Activism.”
“Conversation Activism is the resistance to the forces that divide and disconnect us,” Scilipote says. That resistance may involve remaining in a conversation when discomfort arises, becoming curious about someone we have judged, or allowing enough space to hear something unexpected. “When you do that, you create the opportunity for more connection to take root.”
The term carries an intentionally expansive definition of activism. BreakBread does not ask participants to reach consensus, bridge a particular ideological divide, or emerge with an action plan. The practice instead turns attention toward the habits that shape ordinary exchanges: binary thinking, assumptions, the urge to win, and the tendency to listen primarily for an opening to make one’s own point.
“A lot of this work is about generosity,” Scilipote says. “That’s generosity with yourself and with other people.”
Host Polly Howells has seen how a prompt can alter even a long-established group. A member of the Woodstock Transition group since 2011, she has attended its monthly working-group council meetings over potluck dinners for 15 years. At a recent gathering, only three longtime members remained. On a whim, they drew a card from the BreakBread deck. “We found ourselves in a deeper, more meaningful conversation than we’d had in all our years together,” Howells says. “That’s what convinced me to host a Kitchen Table this fall. I’m excited to see what emerges.”
The series is a pilot, and its founders are candid that they don’t yet know what will follow. They hope some guests will become hosts, some tables will continue meeting, and the model can eventually be replicated in other communities. Success could be as modest as planting the seeds of relationships that take years to mature.
“It opens hearts and it creates care between people,” Williams says. “Creating community is not just about doing things for each other. It’s also about being generous with how you show up for each other—in the way you listen and the way you love.”
BreakBread is still accepting prospective hosts and guests for the Kitchen Table Series, with particular interest in connecting guests to tables in areas where spaces remain. Those curious about the process can also attend a BreakBread dinner at Village Coffee and Goods in Kingston on August 25, from 6 to 9pm. A Conversation Alchemy workshop on October 24 will be open to series participants and anyone interested in exploring the practice further.
To apply to host or join a table, visit BreakBread.world/kitchen-table-series. Information about the August 25 dinner and other programs is available on the BreakBread events calendar.
