In 2011, Sara Eckel published an essay in the New York Times “Modern Love” column. In the piece, titled “Sometimes, It’s Not You,” Eckel confessed that she was once a single woman in her late 30s, and the shame and resentment she had felt about it. In her 30s, she struggled with the notion that there must be some flaw in her that kept her from blissful coupledom. Eckel thought she needed to be fixed, through yoga, or volunteer work, or self-help books, or some other way. She was a perpetual personal-makeover project. What she came to realize, however, was that despite her efforts, her inability to find the right guy and settle down had more to do with luck and the vagaries of cosmic timing—variables outside her control—than anything she innately lacked.
Sara Eckel will read and sign It’s Not You at the Golden Notebook in Woodstock on Saturday, January 11 at 4pm.
Readers—both men and women, but mostly women—responded so enthusiastically to the piece that it launched the idea for Eckel’s It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single (published by Perigree). The book untangles the prevailing myths about marriage and dating with research, wisdom from diverse sources, and large dose of empathy for the long single. It’s Not You reads like advice from a compassionate friend.
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This article appears in January 2014.
