Give partners and loved ones extra time and wiggle room to hesitate. Give them extra space to be self-centered. While you're at it, give yourself that space as well; once you figure out you need these things, you'll be more understanding of why others do as well. Over the next few weeks, you will gain a better understanding of where both you and partners are coming from. Remember that a partner or loved one's lack of confidence may be associated with a memory that long predates your association. People will often allow their own past impressions to influence or even dictate what happens in a present-time situation. Ideally we would not do this, however, it's more likely that the first step is learning to notice when it's happening. This is the theme of the year for you—to know and understand the nature of projection, perhaps the most common psychological phenomenon. Projection is when you see something about yourself existing exclusively outside of yourself. As a clever writer recently pointed out, projection can only happen in the dark. So the first step is to gradually turn up the lights so you can see what is happening. The second step is to keep asking yourself what belongs to you and what belongs to someone else, and not being satisfied with an answer till you have several points of documentation.
